I woke up late this morning for work. Now I have an hour to waste at home.
“Gan ni chi ba”, is heard in the living room as my mom continues to yammer on about our house. I’m not too sure what “chi ba” means or if I’m even hearing it correctly, but what I do know is “Gan ni” is fuck you in Chinese. This phrase is about 90% of what I hear come out of my dad’s mouth to my mom. You’d think I’d know what “chi ba” or “chi da” or whatever, means by now but I don’t.
I pick up my guitar while on my bed to drown out the immediate boredom, frustration, and laziness I get when waking up to this noise. I pick out the strings for Romance de’ Amor while the chorus of the morning plays in the background. Dogs barking, birds chirping, crickets cricketing, and parents parenting. I play the song imperfectly two more times, meditating on the notes and beauty of the song before finally getting out of bed to get ready for work. I wash my face, brush my teeth and comb out half of my bed hair and cover the rest with my beanie. In the living room, my dad, head full of white hair, continues to lay in bed while my mom looks curiously outside the window with a million more words to say.
Romance of love was what was played in the morning by guitar strings and this is what is expected for my heart strings to play throughout the morning, afternoon and night time. We are called to love and be loved in the midst of chaos and unrest that surrounds us.
Oh, how this feels opposed to every fleshly fiber of my body
when sleep becomes the king and escape is his decree
What a lovely king he seems to be to offer a soft bed
During times of war, famine, and things that are said
But when the time comes and the war is over
We will realize that this bed is rather
an infirmary for fallen
soldiers of men
Made by a Prince in disguise
us in our evil desires, sin, and deeds
and when these sins are fully conceived
We lie dead
on our soft infirmary bed
But I hear a roar in the distance
Awake from your slumber and cease your resistance
For I have made you strong in your weakness
I have healed and freed you from your sickness,
So get up, pick up your bed and go!
For you will reap what you sow
No longer are you paralyzed by your flesh
For in Me you will find rest.
This rest that comes from the author of love. This “Romance de Amor” is what he played for us throughout his life and death. It is what’s placed in us through the Word and this is how and why we are to love despite what surrounds us. Beauty that emanates from His song reminds me of the many things to be thankful for. At this moment I only see a glimmer of it, and many times it’s mixed with sour notes and untuned strings of my own heart, yet I see the immense beauty that could be if I just spent more time in it.