Four dollars is the price I pay to find my freedom. Two pumps of syrup, water, and a full cup of ice for two hours of WiFi and AC. I never really cared for these drinks in the past, but in the present, I’m always craving the next high from the fructose and the uncomfortable jitters from the caffeine. There’s just something so amazing about 10 cents worth of sugar water that makes me come back so often.
But the real reason I’m here is for freedom. Freedom from the noise, or lack of noise at home. Drink places are the perfect middle ground. It’s comforting hearing coffee shop music and conversation that I don’t have to analyze or ignore in the background. Nothing really matters here except my laptop, book, drink and the occasional friend who accompanies me. Everything is neutral, a five out of ten. The drinks, the noise, the food; all average. What a blissful indifference that makes me feel away from home. The only high that I need to retain here is controllable with money, the rest is consistent neutrality.
This is where I do most of my reading, writing, and unpacking of my thoughts. But the difficulty in doing this here is that the thoughts I’m extracting from my brain is neutral. This is perfect for disinterested posts about philosophy and arguments where personal biases and emotions can skew important facts. But when writing from a personal, more subjective view about things in my own life, my thoughts become fogged by the desire for indifference. A desire to keep this feeling that I paid four dollars for. This watered down writing that is packed in with ice cold fillers that numb the emotion in my writing. The more I write, the more It seems like these fillers start to drip down into the essence which further dilutes the words.
Essentially, my worry is that all this hype about writing has become an advertised facade. I write all this to cater to an audience, most of whom I do not know. I want to present a quality piece that contains ingredients of wisdom, reason, comprehension and big words. There is a chance that in reality it’s just a watered down, yet overly sweetened conglomeration of thoughts. I hope it’s not so. We do not need another Starbucks of writing where it controls the market with overpriced diluted thoughts that are advertised as intelligent. Rather we need the non-diluted writers who are not influenced by big agendas or powerful cooperations
Now I’m back at home. As I look over what I wrote 5 hours ago, I start to wonder why I wrote this. Maybe I just needed something to write about to justify the fact that I spent 4 bucks on a large cup of ice and water with syrup in it.