Non-Noise canceling headphones don’t silence the crowd. The clamor around me plays a song of human interaction and conversation. What are they saying? I can hear but can’t comprehend. I cannot care. My non-noise canceling headphones. But then the music stops… I hear them! Yet I don’t choose another song. I listen to them for a second, but then my autoplay picks up a guitar and attempts to drain out the clamor. Honey Glaze, fall in love, something, something. It works. Distraction.
Is this our escape? Noise canceling? This illusion of emotions that is different from reality. The deafening of the clamoring reality. These non-noise canceling headphones keep my bleeding ears clotted with beating drums and melodic riffs. It pulls on my heart strings. But these notes end up flat, so I attempt to tune my tone deaf heart to the beats of the song. But I have no love-theory. I have no experience playing the sex, the drugs, or bitches. I wish I had so I can pluck some strings or sing a key that resembles a shared experience. All i can do is pretend. Pretend to know what it’s like to sing or play in tune.
Enough pretending! I take off my non-noise canceling headphones…. My ears adjust. No more patterns or repetition of words or beats. The voices of fifty people play in the background, but no single voice stands out… I listen for comprehension, I hear kids yelling. I listen for content. I hear rambling…But I remember they play music in the restaurant! A small sense of peace runs through my body. I listen intently through my bleeding ears. Why are people so loud! Wait no… Why is the music so quiet! I listen intently for a guitar, a piano, a voice anything! I hear only a muffled guitar playing an instrumental of a song I can’t quite figure out….
What is the song? I can hear but can’t comprehend. I cannot care. I get anxious. I put my non-noise canceling headphones back on and I’m in the blissful illusion again. Conversation in the background and pretending in my forefront.